As expected, this has been a month of "getting used to N’s gradual decline" with very little to show for it.
The decline is slower than we expected and she seems to have shown amazing resilience to death.
Her home care has been handed over the Somerset County Council and a new selection of ladies arrive each morning and evening to attend to her. N is still quite capable of many things – the other day she sat up, swung her legs out of bed and toddled off to the kitchen with an incredible degree of alacrity – she needed a drink of water urgently, she said. I think it can be safely said that she therefore has her good as well as her bad days because on some days she definitely isn’t well.
So the carers attend – at present almost unnecessarily – but at least they are on hand for when the decline begins to bite.
N now has her own commode, a bum-supporting toilet seat, a Zimmer frame and a back support for her bed. The commode is beside the bed in the livingroom and although her husband told her only to use it at night or first thing in the morning, she is apparently taking the easy option and uses it whenever she believes that she can’t make it to the loo. He’s getting fed up with the smell…..!!
The Zimmer frame just can’t be used – there isn’t space for it between the piles of old junk that litter the house – at least that won’t get worn out.
The back support is excellent but it has taken until now to get one. Several years ago we approached the only available outlet at the time – Social Services – to try to get one for her. They promptly sent someone out who said that they didn’t have any and the only thing they could suggest was that N should buy a foam ‘wedge’. I have to admit that I told them that if that was the best they could do then to “bugger off” and keep their noses out of N’s affairs from then on. Now the County Council have provided a tubular metal adjustable back rest which works a treat.
We managed to get her doctor to call out the other day – to check her over – check her medication and to have a chat with us. He gave her the once-over and was able to pronounce her as well as could be expected – no infections, etc. Speaking of which – she’s had her flu jab – seems a bit superfluous to me….. He’s cutting out many of her long-term pills and is going to rationalise the remainder to give her treatment that will really be beneficial in the short-term only.
He then made time for a chat with my wife and I – for which we are very grateful – not many GPs are so generous with their time. N is showing that she still has quite a lot of energy to keep her fight going. The doctor was (obviously) unable to give us any real time schedule but suggested that we are definitely talking about months and certainly not years. Judging from what he can see, nothing drastic is liable to happen before Christmas. (At least she has made it past her 69th birthday and will enjoy her motley selection of Christmas presents – hankies, knickers, slippers, soap and perfume, etc.)
As far as the end is concerned, the doctor said that the final descent will be very noticeable – her decline will be unmistakeable – and at that point we will know that it is just a matter of weeks.
But we haven’t got to that point yet……..she is still eating (about a tenth of what she used to eat) and drinking water (whereas she used to drink gallons of very sweet tea) but she spends much of the day reclining and asleep. Still – what else is there for her to do?
So another month has passed – I’ll write again after November has been and gone – no doubt N will still be here…….